I will die if light touches me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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