I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize