I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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