She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
