I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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