weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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