Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
