No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
