11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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