just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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