i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
