omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
