I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
