It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
