That's when you crack a 10am beer
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
