is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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