I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
