Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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