Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
