So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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