Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
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the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
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Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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