drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize