You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
