FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm always down for nudity.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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