Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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