I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
