We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
