i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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