You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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