How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
