Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
