I'll bet she douches with gravy.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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