her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
