How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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