The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
