Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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