Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
her vagine was all disorganized.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
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you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
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It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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