come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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