Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
