New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
