threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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