Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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