naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
