hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
