Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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