I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize