Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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