Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize