she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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