i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
