Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
