I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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