I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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