I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
