Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
