Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
