she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
