Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't trust your balls anymore.
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