I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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