her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
