I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That's how pantless uber rides happen
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
